On the Science of Changing Sex

On Acceptance of Autogynephilia

Posted in Editorial by Kay Brown on December 12, 2017

Kay Brown 2010For over forty years, I’ve watched my friends in the transcommunity struggle with deep emotions regarding their sexuality and identity.  The sadest thing I’ve seen is that nearly all of the transwomen who were attracted to women struggle with a darker secret that they thought that they alone carried, one that was too terrible to discuss even with other transwomen.  I have watched for decades as this secret ate my friends up, darkened their lonely hours, stole into their thoughts when least expected.  That secret was that they were sexually aroused by cross-dressing and/or just dreaming that they were female.

I feel deeply for those who struggle with this secret.  One has spent years struggling with their identity, secretly wishing that they could live openly as women, but deeply ashamed and concerned that their sexuality, their, let’s just say it out loud, their autogyenphilia, means that they aren’t really… well…

So, they hid it, perhaps even lied about it to their therapist.  They hid it from even themselves.  Oh… if only those memories of being a teenager and finding those lovely panties, or a bra… slipping them on… feeling those delicious… oopsie… we can’t talk about that.

But we must.

And because we must, I have the most amazing thing to tell you… all of your transgender friends (late transitioners rarely have early transitioners as friends… at least not close friends)… all your friends are struggling with the same secret.  How do we know?  Because, when given a chance, in survey after survey, for decades, your friends and those like them quietly acknowledged that they were sexually aroused by cross-dressing, at least they did as teens… and a bit over half admit that they still do many years later.  Imagine that.  YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

So, knowing that all of the transwomen you know are also… go ahead… be brave… say the word out loud… autogynephilic!  Isn’t it time you and your friends talked about it?  Honestly talked about it.   (… and being honest about it also means not trying to lie to yourself or others… such as saying that non-transwomen also experience autogynephilia… they don’t).  Isn’t it time to face this secret, to own it, to use that self-knowledge to guide you toward a happier future?

Come out of your closets !!!

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