Exploring The Science of Transsexuality

Through Knowledge, Justice…

This blog is on the science of transsexuality and transgender sexuality, including aspects of sexual orientation.  The blog also explores socio-political themes where appropriate.  There are many myths and misunderstandings about transsexuality and transgender people.  Our scientific understanding of the transsexual phenomena has increased and dramatically improved over the past sixty years, yet much of what is available in popular literature is misinformation and disinformation.  Much of what the public, including transsexuals and transgender people themselves, believe about the etiology and epidemiology of transsexuality is based on wishful thinking on one hand and deliberate distortions on the other.  Worse, many cherry-pick among the scientific papers, choosing those that, in isolation, appear to support a given thesis.  Many people have read misinformation and disinformation regarding the science, denying, decrying, and even weaponizing the science, often in emotionally inflammatory language (including vicious attacks on the characters of scientists and educators), that makes its rounds in the echo chamber of the web and social media.  Indeed, there are fora that will instantly ban any who discuss this science in any truthful way.  This blog is an attempt to correct this situation.

Learning an unpleasant truth is better than believing a comforting lie – Don’t let the “tribe” tell you what to think – Trust only evidence, not vehemence –Data, not denial

All information found in this blog is supported by peer reviewed science and referenced (cited) in essay posts covering a given topic found on this site.  Many topics are interwoven with other topics, as they are interlocking issues.  Please explore the entire site for a full explanation of each topic.

I recommend that one read the first several entries in the FAQ as an introduction and jumping off point via the links provided.  One can find a bibliography for this blog if you wish to quickly find papers of interest.  You may wish to review the Glossary if a word is unfamiliar.

Remember as you read this site;  Transsexuals and transgendered people are good people, worthy of our respect, and even of our admiration.  Nothing in this material is meant to imply otherwise.  If you are a transsexual or transgendered person:  You have value as a human being.  You have the right to be respected, valued, and even celebrated as the gender to which you identify and aspire regardless of etiology.

Are Drag Queens and Homosexual Transsexuals In The Same Spectrum?

Back in the ’90s, when I was teaching about our history, a gay man boldly asserted that since he had been an amateur drag queen that he and I were similar. I chafed at the suggestion that his dressing up in a costume for a few hours a week for a year was anything akin to my living full time as a woman since I was a teenager.

But recent online squabbling about the erotic role of “homosexual transsexuals”; HSTS being obligate bottoms and “avoidant” vs. a small minority claiming that HSTS can also be tops has me asking the question, “Are drag queen and HSTS in the same taxon / spectrum?”

There are those that would say, of course they are, because they are both “homosexual”. But given recent studies that very strongly show that there are two different discernable subpopulations of androphilic males, with different etiologies, biodemographics, behaviors, and even biomarkers, is this true?

Before continuing, if you haven’t already, please read the following essays so that the rest of this essay will make sense (Yes, I know that’s a lot of reading homework):

HSTS are more likely to exhibit the Fraternal Birth Order Effect (FBOE)

FBOE is caused by maternal immune system and does effect first born males

FBOE is associated with being shorter than average (on average)

HSTS are Bottoms & “Avoidant”

Common Correlations between HSTS and Bottom Gay Men

2D:4D Digit ratio supports the two type taxonomy

2D:4D Digit ratio difference between Top and Bottom Gay Men

After reading this, it should be clear that there is significant evidence that at least the majority of HSTS come from the “bottom” subpopulation of androphilic males, which is very likely etiologically (perhaps even taxonicly?) distinct from “tops”. But what of Drag Queens?

Here, there is less published studies from which to marshal solid data and evidence. We are left groping for data from anecdotes and stereotypes, the worst and lowest form of evidence, if evidence it can be called. Yet, we can sometimes glean some indications.

One of the problems with delving into this question is that historically, HSTS often took jobs as “female impersonators”, performing on stage in a similar fashion as drag queens. Even today, some putatively HSTS use drag shows and contests (e.g. Ru Paul’s “Drag Race”) as a launching pad for careers as entertainers. But a key difference is that they choose to transition full time and upon casual observation, appear to fit stereotypical HSTS profiles while those that don’t fit a very different stereotypical profile.

So lets talk about the stereotypical drag queen. He is significantly taller than average for a man. He is also a “top”. Some even suggest that they are “catty” or “bitchy” (more so than an average gay man). Although perhaps this last is merely apocryphal.

Consider the ur drag queen, Ru Paul himself, who stands 6’4″ tall. This may be an outlier but examine the contestants of his show, many of whom are also well above male average (for the US, that average is 5’10”). Some are shorter, at about 5’7″ to be sure. So, it is true that drag queens tend to be taller than average? We simply don’t have any good statistical data.

The next question is whether draq queens are tops or bottoms. Here we have a very powerful community stereotype that the typical drag queen is most definitely a top. From an online article posted by a gay man attempting to dispel “myths” about drag queens,

5. All drag queens are tops.

OK, I’m hoping everyone reading this knows what I mean by “top,” so I’m not going to explain. Anyway, I never knew about this myth until after getting involved in the drag community, and it definitely is not true. I know several drag queens who are not tops. That’s all I’m going to say on this topic!

Ummm.. so he knows “several” who aren’t. That is another way of saying that most are in fact tops in his experience. Stereotype confirmed.

Getting back to the topic of whether HSTS and drag queens are in the same subpopulation. What scanty evidence we have says, no; No they aren’t. But what of those who claim to be HSTS and to be tops?

I’m reminded of something that I heard on occasion in the late 1970s (before the HIV/AIDS epidemic reduced their numbers), when HSTS gathered at various late night cafes and diners (some sex workers on a break, others just coming for the company), speaking of someone I wasn’t familiar with, “She’s not a transie… she’s just a drag queen!” At the time, I put it down to being a bit catty perhaps. But then again, perhaps it had a grain of truth. That some folk that better fit the category of “drag queen”, top, more masculine, taller, older when they began their career of dressing as women to enter the company of HSTS on the street… that perhaps even today, some “drag queens” seek to live as “trans”, get breast implants, perhaps facial surgeries (FFS), etc. and of course top men who seek out “girl dick”, for fun and profit. And perhaps some insist that they are HSTS, because they are in truth ‘homosexual’.

Further External Reading:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/10-myths-about-drag-queens_b_2979249

Further Reading:

Essay on historical recognition of three types of clinical candidates for SRS: transsexual (“true” = HSTS per above), transvestite (AGP), and homosexual (= drag queen per above).

Why Are Homosexual Transsexuals Short?

It’s long been noted that “homosexual transsexuals” (HSTS) are shorter than average for males, and definitively shorter than non-homosexual transsexuals. It turns out, we may have a satisfactory answer; the Fraternal Birth Order Effect.

First, to review, the FBOE is the interesting finding that androphilic (gay) males are more likely to have older brothers than hetersexual men. That is to say, that for each male fetus that a mother has gestated, the higher the likely-hood that the next male will be androphilic. We’ve also learned that the FBOE effect is highly correlated with males who were more likely to be bottoms, physically more hypomasculine, and more gender atypical. Further, the FBOE is much more common in HSTS than the general homosexual population. And, “bottoms” have more (perhaps only bottoms) FBOE? Bottoms also show higher 2D:4D ratios. Now, allow me to share data on an older study that showed that those with more older brothers are also shorter.

From the abstract,

“A late fraternal birth order has been demonstrated numerous times in homosexual men. Body size has been less studied with regard to the development of sexual orientation and has demonstrated contradictory results. In this research, the relations among fraternal birth order, body size, and sexual orientation were examined in a Canadian sample of homosexual and heterosexual men. An interaction between fraternal birth order and height was observed, with a homosexual orientation most likely to occur in men with a high number of older brothers and shorter stature. No significant interactive effects were observed for weight. The results suggest that the mechanism underlying the fraternal birth order phenomenon has an effect on physical development that lasts and is detectable into adulthood (i.e., adult stature).“

This would explain why HSTS are shorter than average as well. Homosexual transsexuals are a subset of “bottoms” and share all of the biological effects.

Further Reading:

Essay on HSTS being shorter than AGPs

Essay on Bottoms having lower 2D:4D digit ratios

Essay on 2D:4D supporting two type taxonomy

Essay on HSTS having more older brothers than gay men

Essay on similarity between Bottoms and HSTS (including FBOE)

Essay on the fact that FBOE also effects first born androphilic males

Reference:

Bogaert, A. F. (2003). The interaction of fraternal birth order and body size in male sexual orientation. Behavioral Neuroscience, 117(2), 381–384. https://doi.org/10.1037/0735-7044.117.2.381

Contrapoints for the Wynn

Even as Natalie Wynn (AKA “Contrapoints”) attempted, and failed, to “debunk” autogynephilia as a phenomenon and etiology, she elucidated the two taxons “homosexual” vs. “autogynephilic” transwomen perfectly. I don’t know who captured her descriptions of the two and put them into this wonderful photo meme, but thank you for doing it.

I want to examine each of the items and link to my essays covering the science that supports them. Oh, and as the meme asks, I will use it to “sort” myself according to them.

The first item is a separation on sexual orientation. This one is axiomatic in the Two Type Taxonomy. But is sometimes problematic in that many MTF transsexuals will falsely claim to be androphilic due to autogynephilic pseudo-androphilia and social desirability bias. But, we can sort based on sexual history using various clues like legal marriages to women and having sired children. Key questions to ask is if the individual has had sexual intercourse with a female person vs. having sex, especially as a “bottom”, with men, pre-op. Cluster A are very unlikely to have ever had Penis In Vagina (PIV) sexual intercourse with a woman. And Cluster B are very unlikely to have NOT (save for very young, pre-sexual debut and “assexual” behaving individuals) to have had PIV sex.

Essay on MTF transsexuals misrepresenting their sexual orientation.

Personal history:

I can say with absolute honesty that I NEVER had PIV intercourse with a female, nor did my ahem… enter any other orifice, period. (And had plenty of offers in high school and college years.) Yet, I was very sexually active with men, as an obligate “bottom” (and “avoidant”) pre-op. My sexual debut was at age 18 w/ a 25 y/o buff man. I then continued to date and have sex with a number of men, both while pre and post op. Jeff Elliott, my husband and I will be celebrating our 24th wedding anniversary in a few weeks.

So, one point in the Cluster A category.

Second item is about age of transition. Multiple clinical studies have shown that there is a clear bimodal distribution of age for transition that is highly correlated with sexual orientation. Half of androphilic transwomen socially transition and begin HRT before age 20, and almost never after age 25. While for Cluster B, the data shows that the median is around 35 and the average 40+.

Essay on study showing early transition for androphilic transwomen.

Essay on study showing bimodel onset of gender dysphoria and transition.

Personal history:

Starting in Jr. High, I wore girl’s style cut-off (“hot pants”) and girls shoes (moccasin flats). I began more overt social transition while still in high school, first beginning presenting as a girl with friends at their homes at age 15, openly in public, shopping, hanging out, etc. by age 17. Full time right after graduation the same week I turned 18. (I had to present as a “boy” at school since my two brothers were also students there and my ‘rents were VERY disapproving, etc.) I started HRT at age 18 as soon as I was legally of age to consent to my own medical care.

So, two points for Cluster A category.

The third item is about gender atypicality as a child. Clinicians have long noted that the two types are very different on this score. However, one can’t trust self-report as Cluster B types tend to “shade” their personal memories. One really should get that information from older family members (parents, grandparents, etc.)

Essay w/ data on self-report of gender atypicality.

Personal history:

Let’s review what my mother told Dr. Fisk about my childhood behavior in ’75 (when I was 17):  “I have known for years that he wanted to be a girl.  But I thought that was [morally] wrong.  He was very different than his brothers.  All their friends were boys.  His were always girls,” naming several of my friends over the years, starting with my pre-school friends, but couldn’t remember my friend who had been my only guest on my tenth birthday.  “Marian,” I interjected for the only time during the whole interview.  “He was always very prissy.  He would walk clear around even the shallowest puddles.  When he was little, I would put him in clean clothes on Monday and on Friday they would still be clean.”  She confirmed that I had been sent to a therapist about my behavior when I was ten years old… and again when I was 15/16.

So, three points for Cluster A.

The forth item is about being bullied vs. being a bully. I have no solid data regarding this, but many clinicians have written about how classic / “true” transsexuals were bullied as children. I’ve seen little to no data on Cluster B types being the bullies, though anecdotal stories from clinicians talk about how many of their patients express misogynistic / homophobic attitudes. Goodness knows, some of them are serious bullies as adults post-transition.

Essay on clinical description of misogynistic attitudes in Cluster B clients.

Personal history:

One of the worse beatings I suffered was when I was 14 years old, when two older boys, who laid in wait along my path through a dark orchard one winter evening, just a block from my home, first taunted me, then beat, knocked me to the ground, and proceeded to kick me viciously, all the while yelling homophobic slurs.  Their exact words included,

“FAGGOT!”

“PANSY!”

“PANTYWAIST!”

“YOU THINK YOU’RE A GIRL?”

“YOU MAKE ME SICK!”.

Our family moved from a solid middle class neighborhood to an upper middle class one nearby and we transferred to another high school nearby, Los Altos High, with a zero tolerance policy toward bullying.  I was grateful for that policy, because it mattered.  One day, during my Senior year (well after I had come out), a boy I didn’t even know (so this wasn’t personal) approached me during lunch while I sat with several friends on the Senior Lawn, began kicking me, yelling,

“GET UP FAGGOT AND FIGHT!”

I looked up at him and told him, “You are barking up the wrong tree, I won’t fight you.”  Two of my female friends put themselves between him and me when he resumed kicking me.

So, four points for Cluster A.

The fifth point is Cluster A being confused for a girl while pre-transition, while Cluster B being thought of as an older man. This one is more anecdotal perhaps, but their IS data on differential passability which may relate AND I do have a couple anecdotes about my adopted daughter insisting that a post-op “Cluster B” was a man, but saw a pre-transition Cluster A teenager (19 y/o) as a girl even though she was wearing boy’s clothing.

Essay on differential passing ability.

Essay on w/ anedotes about a teen passing as girl pre-transition

Personal history: This one I can’t provide data other then I was successfully passing as a girl in public several years before starting HRT. It might have happened other occasions and I hadn’t noticed… save for the time I was 14, my first week of high school, when one boy asked another, “Is that a boy or a girl?” and the other just shrugged in indecision. I can say that NO ONE ever thought I was an older man. People often thought I was much younger than my actual age (until I transitioned full time).

Is that still four points or five for Cluster A? Definitely NOT Cluster B.

The sixth item is about how tall the two clusters are. Here we have many anecdotes from clinicians mentioning this difference, but only two studies testing it, which had conflicting results. One clearly showed that Cluster A was shorter (and lighter boned, which is item #13).

Essay on height and build differences.

Personal stats: I am 5’7″ and the day I turned 18 years old I weighed 130 pounds. The day I had SRS at age 23, I weighed in at 125 pounds. On my wedding day, I weighed 135 pounds.

So, another couple points for Cluster A.

The next item is digit ratio. This is referring to the 2D:4D ratio, the relative length of the index vs. ring finger. I have quite a few essays talking about this metric. This does seem to be true that Cluster A has a higher 2D:4D ratio.

Essay on 2D:4D ratio supporting the two type taxonomy.

Personal stats: I love this one. Here is a photo of my hand. My 2D:4D ratio is “off the chart” high at 1.06 !

Chalk up another point for Cluster A!

The next two items are delayed puberty and weaker puberty. These are more anecdotal in that only recently have scientists been directly monitoring transsexual youths. But anecdotally, we do have some evidence for this in that Cluster A types tended to be older for each Tanner milestone and that they have less body hair and smaller genitalia. The same regarding Cluster B in reverse. I don’t have any essays or know of any good papers on the subject. But we’ve all seen it on each other.

Personal history: When I turned 18 and began HRT, I had zero facial hair, no “body hair”, my pubic and underarm hair was sparse, light, and in the female pattern (downward triangle). When I had my initial consultation with Dr Biber for SRS, he remarked that I had extreme hypotrophy (lack of growth) of my genitals. I replied, “Yeah, its always been that way”.

Funny story: One day, in my early ’40s, while in the waiting room at the Sea Horse Medical Clinic (Dr. Joy Shaffer’s clinic for transfolk), a 30-something transwoman with recent electrolysis inflamed facial skin noted my smooth and clear face, asked me, “How many hours of electrolysis have you had?” Clearly she was hoping to gauge how many hours she would need to look like me. Feeling mischievous I feigned ignorance, “Electrolysis?”. “Yes, how many hours did it take you?” “Electrolysis?” Hearing this exchange, Dr. Shaffer, who had been my college roommate intervened, “That’s her primary growth.” “I hate you!” the transwoman said to me in mock jealousy.

Add another couple Cluster A points.

Next item is muscle mass. Save for the difference in passability (linked above) and the body build (linked above) I don’t have much actual studies on the topic. But, hey, we’ve all seen the difference!!!

Personal history: My parents, especially my mother, was always concerned with the lack of muscle mass. But even one of our high school P.E. coaches was in on the act (not the nice one who later rescued me from boy’s P.E. my senior year, after I came out). That *&^%$#@! forced me to take a body building class for P.E. F’ck that noise! I refused to do the work. I mean, there was no F’ing way I was going to push to look like a butch man!

Funny story: All of the kids got standardized “physical fitness” tests in high school. The same tests for both boys and girls, but the scoring was different on each item. Girls were not expected to do many (or even one) pull-up but were expected to be able to do more sit-ups than boys. I scored as “unfit”… on the boys scoring sheet. But as very fit on the girls, unable to do a single pull-up, but far more sit-ups than any of the boys, right in the norm for girls, across the board. It got me some teasing from those that hadn’t yet figured out that I was androphilic/transsexual.

Another point for Cluster A.

Then we come to “soft”. This is a reference to the amount of subcutaneous fat, typically a female trait. Sadly, I have zero data on this. But c’mon, many of us were known for being “soft” like that as teens. I was, no doubt about it. It was one of the reasons I could pass as a girl before HRT.

Funny story: When I was 14, I was wearing shorts (hot-pants really) one summer day, as I passed my brother and his buddies in the garage. One of the boys looked up and exclaimed, “You have girl’s legs!” and the other boys sniggeringly agreed. Yeah, my legs have always been my best feature.

Candice at age 24

Let’s add another point for Cluster A.

Finally, we have a reference to facial shape, rounder, smaller. Again, this feeds into the differential passibility study, etc. (linked above) It may sound catty, but we can usually tell if someone is Cluster A vs. B (that is to say, HSTS vs. AGP) just from a photograph of their face. Facial Feminization Surgery has shifted this somewhat… but if one sees a “before” HRT and FFS surgery facial photo, there is no question that Cluster B’s look like masculine men.

The photo shown here is my Jr. College ID taken in the summer of ’75 at age 18. This photo was taken several weeks BEFORE I started HRT. That does NOT look like a butch face. Yes, I started living full time as a woman before HRT.

Add another Cluster A point.

Candice’s school photo ID at age 18

Add it all up… add up all the points for the win… As they suggest, I fit the Cluster A very, very well.

Further Reading:

Magazine style quiz to access if one is HSTS vs. AGP

Gay Men’s Hands Tell Us About Their Erotic Role

Thirteen years ago, I wrote an essay on how scientists had been frustrated using the 2D:4D digit ratio to demonstrate that gays and transsexuals had anomalous pre-natal exposure to androgens. They had gotten very confusing, contradictory results. I’ve been following the research hoping that some headway would be made. Well, maybe we have.

First was the confusion of not segregating and analyzing transsexual subjects data based on etiology / sexual orientation. We may now have found a similar issue with looking at gay men. There is strong evidence that there is an etiological difference between subsets of androphilic males that has correlates with preferred erotic role, specifically, preferring receptive anal sex vs. everything else.

There have also had some scientists questioning whether the 2D:4D is really about androgen exposure at all. Some data suggests that the differences within, but not across the sexes, may be due to other factors such as stress induced cortisol exposure, etc. But for our purposes, that does not matter. What matters is that when we see data that differentiates between populations and correlates with other markers for those populations, we have something interesting to note and explore. Such is the case with the Swift-Gallant paper on 2D:4D difference between tops and bottoms.

“A growing body of work indicates that anal sex role (ASR) preferences may serve as a proxy for subgroups of gay men who differ in development and gender conformity. Thus, in the present study we asked whether gay men with different ASR preferences may differ in 2D:4D. We hypothesized that gay men with a Bottom ASR (receptive), who tend to be more gender nonconforming (GNC), would have a higher (more female-typical) average digit ratio than ASR Tops (insertive), who tend to be more gender conforming. We predicted that gay men with a Versatile ASR preference (i.e., preference for insertive and receptive) would be intermediate between these two groups in both GNC and 2D:4D.”

The data they gathered is remarkable. The statistical difference between the tops and bottoms was d=0.63 for their right hands. Compare this to the difference between control men and women (from another study) at d=0.76. Thus the difference is nearly as large as that between men and women. This is a dramatic result!

They found that versatiles, those that both top and bottom were intermediate between the two. There are two hypotheses that would explain this. One is that this is a dimensional trait that smoothly varies between tops and bottoms. The other is that this is in fact, taxonic, and those that self-labeled as “versatile” were in fact an admixture of the taxonomically distinct tops and bottoms. The data presented does not allow us to determine this.

I’m predicting that the later hypothesis is correct, based on the fact that earlier work supported that, especially since the obligate bottoms appear to be the only subset of androphilic males who exhibit the Fraternal Birth Order Effect.

Further Reading:

2010 Essay on 2D:4D frustrations

Essay on Etiological Differences between Tops & Bottoms

Essay on Socio-Economic Status effecting 2D:4D differences

Essay on 2D:4D study that supports transsexual taxonomy.

References:

Swift-Gallant, A., Di Rita, V., Major, C.A. et al. Differences in digit ratios between gay men who prefer receptive versus insertive sex roles indicate a role for prenatal androgen. Sci Rep 11, 8102 (2021). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-021-87338-0

Straight Men Viewing Nudes Of Pre-Op Transsexuals

In a very recently published paper by a graduate student in Vasey’s team, Heatlie added to our knowledge that straight men can and do find pre-op transsexuals sexually arousing to a small degree when viewing static images. This adds support for Hsu’s earlier work. The paper is available online so I highly recommend reading it. However, I do have some comments about it to share.

The study used pupillary dilation response while viewing to measure arousal and compared that to subjective responses while viewing nudes of four different stimuli sets, men, women, and two types of gynenadromorphs (GAM).

Heatlie used two “types” of gynadromorphic stimuli, one “with breasts” and one “without breasts”. Surprise surprise, straight men found those with breasts more arousing. Sadly, we do not have examples of the stimuli. This is a serious deficit in evaluating the paper in that we don’t really know just how “feminine” those without breasts are. Those with breasts most likely have been on feminizing Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) for some time, even if they had elected to have breast implants. We simply do not know whether those “w/o breasts” have had any HRT. Thus, these stimuli subjects may look rather phenotypically male in other respects, not just genitally. They may just look like normal boys in the nude!

Note that the straight subject’s pupils actually contracted upon seeing the nude men, indicating that they found these images aversive. But the GAMs with no breasts were not aversive, but not very arousing either. A bit of a side comment here: The paper said the difference was “not significant”. This is NOT a measure of the meaning or size of the difference, but rather a comment on the statistical strength of the evidence, the measurement being somewhat noisy and the number of subjects being measured rather limited (N=65).

Some of the comments in the paper suggest that the authors do not understand the difference between control men and “chasers”, men who specifically seek out gynandromorphs, even though they cite Hsu’s work on this very subject, “Many men who seek out gynandromorphs as sexual partners cite the femininity of such individuals as being a key motivator (e.g., Kulick,1997; Mitsuhashi, 2006; Operario et al., 2008; Reback & Larkins, 2006; Rosenthal et al., 2017). Some studies have characterized the femininity of gynandromorphs as more accentuated than the average cisgender female (Gerico, 2015, Operario et al., 2008, Reback and Larkins, 2006). These findings could be viewed as at odds with our results, given that participants were more sexually aroused to cisgender females than to gynandromorphs, with or without breasts.” They fail to note that most (perhaps all) such men are also autogynephilic, experiencing a paraphilic interest, not a conventional interest, in gynandromorphs.

The study also used nude static stimuli, which the authors recognize may not capture the salient factors that conventionally heterosexual men may find attractive that overcomes their aversion to gynandromorphs, their genitalia, “Consequently, our nude stimuli may have failed to capture many of the qualities (e.g., clothing, voice, and body movements) that communicate femininity, or accentuated femininity, and elicit sexual interest from gynephilic males in naturalistic contexts. Conversely, given that our stimuli were nude, the obvious presence of gynandromorphs’ penises may have negatively influenced participants’ subjective ratings of sexual arousal and their pupil dilation.” My response is “No shit, Sherlock”

Further, there is a classic behavior in such gynandromorphic individuals being “avoidant”, disliking letting their partners touch or view their genitalia. This widely shared behavior reduces straight men’s aversion. The use of nude photos of gynandromorphs unnaturally circumvents this, distorting the data.

The paper makes a claim that I just can NOT agree with, “These data are consistent with the conclusion that the capacity for some, albeit low level of sexual interest in gynandromorphs is an invariant capacity of male gynephiles, even in cultures such as Canada where sexual interactions between gynandromorphs and gynephilic men are relatively rare…” These interactions are only “rare” because GAMs, pre-op androphilic MTF transsexuals are rare. If they had surveyed such they would learn that we have no trouble finding straight men who find us sexually desirable.

Update 2/23/2023: The lead author responded:

Hi Candice, thank you very much for your thoughtful essay. I had some thoughts as I read it: 1.The feminine males were characterized as such on the basis of having traditionally feminine hairstyles, make up, and poses. However, we do address the limitations inherent to this approach in our limitations section. Because we will likely be reusing this stimulus set for another study (in order to triangulate our findings using another measure), I am unable to share the images online. 2.Participants’ pupils did not constrict in response to images of males. Pupil change was standardized (i.e., converted to z-scores), and negative values simply suggest that most measurements fell below the mean. The difference between cisgender males and gynandromorphs without breasts was both non-significant and small (d = .37). In general, psychologically relevant stimuli do not elicit constriction. 3.I feel it is important to note that when we say that sexual interactions between gynandromorphs and heterosexual men are relatively rare, we are simply referring to the prevalence of such relationships. As compared to many other cultures such interactions are reported less frequently by Canadian men. We are not making a statement about the attractiveness of gynandromorphs.

Further Reading:

Essay on attraction to gynandromorphs

Essay on pre-op MTF transsexuals being “avoidant”

Reference:

Heatlie, L, et al, “Heterosexual men’s pupillary responses to stimuli depicting cisgender males, cisgender females, and gynandromorphs”, Biological Psychology (2023), https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsycho.2023.108518

Is The “Non-Binary” Fad Ready To Fade?

Social fads tend to have rapid rises and rapid fades. They begin with just a few people, early adopters, then grow exponentially when highly influential celebrities or “trend-setters” adopt it. They begin to fade when the novelty factors no longer operate and the celebrities and trend-setters abandon it. One of the factors that begins the fade phase of the fad is when a growing number of people point out how silly or nonsensical the fad is.

Such may be what is happening with non-gender dysphoric / gender typical / straight people, mostly teenaged girls and young women claiming to be “trans” and/or “non-binary”.

This concept probably originated in the autogynephilic male cross-dressing (i.e. transvestite) community. Decades ago, they would often describe their cross-dressing as “exploring their feminine side”. There was an organization called the Society for the Second Self, often simply called “Tri-Ess” for short. Many such men would sometimes describe themselves as “Bi-Gendered” in a direct reference to the term “Bi-Sexual”, having both a male and female gender and expression.

But sometime in the early 2010’s, a number of women started claiming first to be “trans” when they clearly were not, to be “cool”. Why? Hard to sort out the beginnings of any social fad, but I strongly suspect it had to do with the unfortunate practice of Hollywood using non-trans actors to portray transsexuals.

The use of non-trans folk as transsexuals has the unfortunate effect of misleading people about the nature and expression of transsexuality. It was bad enough when young transitioning, naturally feminine, exclusively androphilic, Male-To-Female transsexuals were represented in film and television by masculine straight men, trying to act “feminine / gay”, giving the distinct impression of such transsexuals as being more like overly dramatic drag queens. But when young, feminine heterosexual women are cast as Female-To-Male transsexuals, especially if the actor is popular and admired, portrays transmen as “cool”, as was happening in some shows and movies (e.g. Hillary Swank), it misleads teenaged girls to falsely believe that they too could be “cool” and trans.

But then, actual transmen pushed back, pointing out that claiming to be transsexual when they were clearly not gender dysphoric (the definition of “transsexual”) was “uncool”. These young women likely picked up and modified the original “Bi-Gender” concept, making a reference to “asexual” to be “agender” and then “non-binary”. The value of claiming to be “non-binary” was that one didn’t need to be gender dysphoric, nor even gender atypical. It was the perfect way to claim to be “trans” without actually being “trans” anything.

Sometime in the 2010’s, the fad took off when such celebrities as Demi Lovato declared herself to “non-binary”. Here was a very feminine, heterosexual woman, who could be emulated by teenaged girls and young women, without the cognitive dissonance of knowing that they were NOT actually “trans”.

Looking at some data in a relatively small study by Katiala-Heino, et al, comparing 2012-13 scores to 2017,

“The aim of this study was to explore whether there has been an increase in prevalence and changes in sex ratio in feelings of gender dysphoria (GD) in an adolescent population in Northern Europe, and to study the impact of invalid responding on this topic. We replicated an earlier survey among junior high school students in Tampere, Finland. All first and second year students, aged 16–18, in the participating schools were invited to respond to an anonymous classroom survey on gender experience during the 2012–2013 school year and in the spring and autumn terms of 2017. Gender identity/GD was measured using the GIDYQ-A. A total of 318 male and 401 female youth participated in 2012–2013, and 326 male and 701 female youth in 2017. In the earlier survey, the GIDYQ-A scores, both among males and females, were strongly skewed toward a cis-gender experience with very narrow interquartile ranges. Of males, 2.2%, and of females, 0.5% nevertheless reported possibly clinically significant GD. The 2017 GIDYQ-A distribution was similarly skewed. The proportion of those reporting potentially clinically significant GD was 3.6% among males and 2.3% among females. Validity screening proved to have a considerable impact on conclusions. GD seems to have increased in prevalence in the adolescent population.”

The authors noted that testing for dishonesty was highly correlated with positive answers to GD questions, especially among males. But note that the number of girls claiming to be “trans” jumped nearly five fold, from 0.5% to 2.3%, from 2012 to 2017.

This caused the exponential growth of the fad though “social contagion”. Such ridiculously high percentage of teenagers and young people, mostly female, claimed to be “trans” and “non-binary” (the two were very often lumped together as “gender diverse”) in polls that soon headlines with claims that transfolk were common in young people. It also lead to the false notion that there was an epidemic of actual gender dysphoria, because of the use of superficial trappings of FtM transsexuals to become known as “Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria”. This became weaponized in the current culture and legislative war against transkids and their medical care.

To be sure, the number of female teenagers referred to therapists and clinics because they claimed to be “trans” increased, but the numbers were not really out of line with the small number historically expected based on the number of adult transmen transitioning in past. Though, it was obvious that some of the increase was caused by non-gender dysphoric girls mistakenly referred to the clinics.

As I said, fads eventually fade. When will this one fade? Could it be that it already is? Demi Lovato went back to “she/her” pronouns last year, indicative of the “influencer” effect fading.

Consider that in Turbin, et al, they used a very large poll from two different years. They found 2.4% (similar to the 2.3% from Finland that same year) and 1.6% respectively. If the numbers can be trusted, the drop over the two year period from 2017 to 2019 of 50% would indicate that the fad is fading. Another researcher with extreme numbers, Kidd, found in her survey that it had dropped from 10% a few years ago to 7% in 2022, a 30% drop, also indicating that the fad is fading. What of the numbers being referred to clinics?

Our favorite Netherlands clinic recently published a paper on 20 years of treating transkids. This is a graph from that paper showing the number referred to the clinic each year.

Note that the number of those older than ten years old (pre-teens and teens) peaked in 2017 and then dramatically dropped (nearly 45%) in 2018. We don’t have more recent data, but this does agree with the other data points we have.

It looks like the fad may have peaked in 2017. I shall be keeping an eye on this to see if the apparent fade continues.

Addendum 5/9/2023:

Another paper, this one from Sweden, showing the same trend from 2012 to the sudden downturn in 2017/18 by 40% in 2020, essentially duplicating the other studies, as the authors clearly state,

“We find that the increase of young transgender men seems to have peaked around 2018 and find
no evidence for further increases in 2019 and 2020.”

Further Reading:

Autogynephilia

Butterfly Effect

Lost In The Crowd

Falsely Claiming To Be “Trans” is Cool, (NOT!)

ROGD Redux

External Reading:

Wikipedia Entry on Fads

References:

Katiala-Heino, R., et al, “Gender dysphoria in adolescent population: A 5-year replication study” Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry (2019)
https://doi.org/10.1177%2F1359104519838593

Turbin, et al., “Sex Assigned at Birth Ratio Among Transgender and Gender Diverse Adolescents In The United States”, Pediatrics (2022), https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2022-056567

Kidd, K. et al., “The Prevalence of Gender-Diverse Youth in a Rural Appalachian Region”, JAMA Pediatrics (2022), DOI:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2022.2768

van der Loos, et al., “Children and adolescents in the Amsterdam Cohort of Gender Dysphoria: trends in diagnostic- and treatment trajectories during the first 20 years of the Dutch Protocol”, The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2023;, qdac029, https://doi.org/10.1093/jsxmed/qdac029

Kolk, Martin and Tilley, J. Lucas and von Essen, Emma and Moberg, Ylva and Burn, Ian, Demographic Trends in Sweden’s Transgender Population (1973–2020) (April 24, 2023). Available at SSRN: https://ssrn.com/abstract=4427508 or http://dx.doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.4427508

Is Ehlers–Danlos Syndrome Really Associated With Gender Dysphoria?

A couple years ago, I got an email from someone who felt that I was failing in my exploration of the science by not writing about how Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome causes one to be transgender. I was confused. I had never seen any paper to suggest such a connection. Plus, something about the way this correspondent wrote about it set off several red flags of someone seeking confirmation and affirmation, not information.

Now there is a paper that purports to provide evidence of a connection. But how and why this should be so opens up more questions than answers as I will explain.

First, one must understand that Ehlers-Danlos is one of those syndromes that is both rare and not easy to diagnose. It has been associated with several genetic variants that deal with connective tissue development. The syndrome is defined as causing very loose, “mobile” joints. Something most people call “double jointed”. It’s also said to cause “stretchy” “smooth” skin. Doesn’t sound very bad until one learns that this hypermobility is associated with disabling, even crippling, dislocations of hip and other joints.

But why should a connective tissue problem cause gender dysphoria?

In Jones, et al, he reports that among his TEENAGED patients, 17% reported gender dysphoria. Had this been published in the 1970s, I would have been astounded and would be strongly urging further research into the connection. But this was published in December of 2022. This suggests a far simpler explanation: teenagers falsely claiming to be “trans” and “non-binary”.

We already know that in some other studies up to 10% of teenagers making such a claim. Add to that number the idea of being diagnosed with a rare genetic variant and a social network of teens with said variant, all feeling “special” and told that there is an association with being “trans”, we get a perfect storm for a classic fad. A super majority of 89% of these patients claiming to be “trans” and “non-binary” were female, which fits the recent trend of “tucutes”.

But the ultimate suspicious hint that this is a social imitation phenomena among teens is this statement from the researchers, “To date, there have been no reports of prevalence of TGD youth in pediatric patients with EDS.”

But now we need to look at other data, from the other direction. We must never be blinded by confirmation bias or cherry picking. What of those who are adults receiving medical transition services? Here we find another paper, published in 2022, that reported that of over a thousand patients being treated for gender dysphoria, 2.6% had a diagnoses of Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, which is ~136 times more than is found in the general population. Further, 67% of them were female.

So we are left with a conundrum. How is it that a connective tissue syndrome is associated with gender dysphoria?

References:

Jones JT, Black WR, Moser CN, Rush ET, Malloy Walton L. Gender dysphoria in adolescents with Ehlers–Danlos syndrome. SAGE Open Medicine. 2022;10. doi:10.1177/20503121221146074

Najafian, A.; Cylinder I.; Jedrzejewski B.; Sineath C.; Sikora Z.; Martin LH.; Dugi D.; Dy GW.; Berli JU. Ehlers-Danlos syndrome: prevalence and outcomes in gender affirming surgery – a single institution experience. Plast. Aesthet. Res. 2022, 9, 35. http://dx.doi.org/10.20517/2347-9264.2021.89

Autistic Dawn

— Are gender dysphoric youth prone to being autistic. Or reversing that, are autistic children prone to being gender dysphoric? There has been some clinicians suggesting there is a connection. But does the data support that assertion? There is data that suggests that transmen (FtM transsexuals) do show more autism type characteristics but the data for transwomen is mixed. That is to say, that gynephilic transwomen seem to have the name level of such as control men, while exclusively androphilic (HSTS) transwomen show the same, lower, level as control women. Given that HSTS are far more likely to have been identified as gender dysphoric as youth, we would expect that such male children w/ gender dysphoria would NOT show elevated autistic traits.

But I was challenged on this prediction and given a citation for a 2015 paper by Van der Laan, et al., that purported to show that both male and female gender dysphoric children did show elevated autistic traits.

But did it? Let’s look at the data. The paper is available on SciHub as a downloadable pdf, so you may refer to Table 2. Here is where we begin to see something odd. The researchers do NOT have data on any Autisism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) diagnoses nor have they used the clinically validated Autism Quotient (AQ) instrument as in other studies. Instead they have used only two items in a maternally scored checklist about “obsessions” and “compulsions”. These constructs only weakly map to ASD, and could map to other disorders… or no disorder at all. After all, one child’s “obsession” is another child’s hobby, or even just a keen interest. This alone brings the study’s value for our purposes to near zero. However, data is data.

Of the male children, 54% were scored as having an obsession with a (cross?) gendered theme. While of the sibling controls, only 13% were. Sounds pretty convincing doesn’t it? But is it? But of the controls, 87% were scored as having an obsession with a non-gendered theme. Gee… that doesn’t sound like these gender dysphoric youth were any more likely to have an obsession indicating a likely ASD. The rest of the data for the compulsions and for the female children is similar.

The authors appear to know that this may not reflect a propensity to ASD, as they note,

“Another possibility is that intense cross-sex interests are simply a manifestation of GD. Such interests may lead to a clinical presentation that is ASD-like but only superficially so because the intensity of the interests is due to the GD and not an underlying ASD. If such were the case, then few, if any, additional ASD features should accompany intense cross-sex interests. If few additional ASD features are present, then other circumstances that might influence such interests to be elevated should be considered. For instance, GD children may obsess about cross-sex objects and activities as a way of communicating their strong desire to be the opposite gender. When confronted with resistance about this desire, the child may react by further intensifying these obsessions and, hence, his or her communication of this desire.”

My snarky response is, “Ya think?!?”

Further Reading:

Autism and Transgender

Autistic Sky

Autistic Sunset

Reference:

VanderLann, et al., “Do Children With Gender Dysphoria Have Intense/Obsessional Interests?”, JOURNAL OF SEX RESEARCH, 52(2), 213–219, 2015, DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2013.860073

One’s Job or Education Do NOT Define Either HSTS Nor AGP Transwomen

— Just as one’s job or education do NOT define men nor women.

For over a decade, I’ve been writing on the Science of Changing Sex, explaining how the science supports the Two Type Taxonomy. This after spending years researching, teaching, and writing about our history. (Trivia: many of the current texts on our history have borrowed rather heavily from that earlier work. No, I’m not upset by that, but pleased it has become so well known.) That after having worked as an early transsexual rights activist, including joining with several other transsexuals to form the ACLU Transsexual Rights Committee in 1980. This early work almost certainly set the stage for later activists to join in that work.) Sadly, while there has been progress in understanding the nature of the Two Type Taxonomy, there is a continuing denialist opposition to it. That opposition has not restricted itself to respectful scientific arguments, but often descends into personal attacks, calumny, and character assassination.

Please Read “What The Next Wave of Transgender Activists Need To Know”

One of the silliest of these is based on mistaken sexist stereotypes about the differences between the two types, sadly started by several of the top sexologists that researched the taxonomy and support further research and education, to wit, that Autogynephilic (AGP) transwomen are very likely to be “geeky” and become scientists, engineers, and technologists while Homosexual (HSTS) transwomen are not. This is based on the totally erroneous idea that straight men are more interested in these careers than either women or gay men, by nature. The other false stereotype is that HSTS are too stupid to have such careers, having lower IQ than average. This too was started by an offhand personal obsersation by a sexologist.

Please Read “Stereotypes Are Dangerous” and “The Right Stuff”

The reality is that women are just as likely to be interested in such educations and careers as men, when given the chance and not discouraged from doing so. And HSTS show the same average IQ as the general population, though very rare, there are HSTS with very high IQs.

Please Read “Tech Bros and Silicon Valley’s Misogyny Problem”

From the graph, we can see how women, when the sexist limits on their enrollment in the physical sciences, legal, and medical fields were reduced, the percentage of women seeking degrees in those fields climbed and now has reached near parity with men. Computer Science is the only field where the enrollment initially climbed, then fell off. It was NOT that women didn’t like the field. It was and remains a problem of a toxic culture in computer programming where immature, misogynistic, young men make studying and working in the field a hostile environment for women.

Women have long wanted to be scientists and technologists. Consider these women: Ada Lovelace who worked with Babbage on the concepts of computer programming before computers existed; Maria Sklowdowska Curie who was awarded, not one, but two Nobel prizes in physics and chemistry; her daughter Irène Joliet-Curie who also won a Nobel prize in chemistry; Lise Meitner, who should have won the Nobel Prize for the discovery of atomic fission that led to nuclear power. The list is long. Although these are extraordinary women for their accomplishments, they are not unusual for being interested in science.

I would argue that gay men are also just as likely to be interested in these fields, though we don’t have as much documentation to prove it. But consider Alan Turing, one of the most celebrated mathematicians and computer pioneers of the 20th Century, was gay. Today, we have Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, Inc., one of the most successful Silicon Valley companies. The most amazingly brilliant technologist who ever reported to me was an undergraduate summer intern from MIT in the early ’80s. When he later came out, he asked me if I knew he was gay before. “I knew the day I hired you!”. He later earned a Ph.D., published a textbook on robotics, and became a Silicon Valley executive.

The stereotype of autogynephilic transwomen being geeky also fails to hold water when we look at them and note how many have careers that are not at all “geeky”, but are stereotypically male/masculine coded like law enforcement, military, construction, transportation, etc. Then there are the number who are living in poverty and squalor because they have no marketable skills acceptable to (accepting of) women post-transition.

Thus, women and gay men like and pursue education and careers in the physical sciences and technology just as much as straight men. But straight men will avoid fields that are coded as “women’s work” or feminine/”gay”. Autogynephilic transwomen notoriously have the same aversion pre-transition. So, while we can NOT use pursuing an education in the sciences or working in technology as a useful marker for autogynephilia, nor as exclusionary of being homosexual (transsexual or not); we can use female coded careers and jobs, especially those pursued before transition, as likely exclusionary of being autogynephilic and also increasing the odds that such an individual is homosexual (transsexual or not).

Back to the issue of what does define and differentiate the two types of transwomen. Very simply, their sexuality. One is gynephilic and autogynephilic, the other is androphilic (homosexual w/ respect to their natal sex). Nothing else defines the two types.

However, there are indicia that highly correlate with the two types. In my years of examining the science literature I have found seventeen independent lines of evidence that correlate and supports the two type taxonomy. None of them are educational / career interests. Some of these correlates can only be used at the population level, but several can be used at the individual level: gender atypical behavior as a pre-adolescent, age of onset of gender dysphoria, age of social transition, and of course, definitionally, sexual history (showing actual sexual orientation).

Please Read the first few entries in the “FAQ on the Science of Changing Sex”

The Personal Is Political

Back to the problem of the denialism and of the calumnious attacks, specifically, those attacks on me. In an ironically revealing, one might even say, self-own, they simultaneously claim that there is no two type taxonomy and nearly in the same breath tell me to shut up because I must be AGP as well because of my interest in the sciences and my long career in Silicon Valley! But as I showed above, that does NOT define nor differentiate the two types. But if one examines my bio, one can find all the indicia needed to determine which etiological type I fall into.

Please Read “About”

Consider this section to be an expansion of my bio, focused on those indicia. As I said in my bio, the only honorable defense against lies is the truth.

My mother, during an interview with Dr. Fisk at the Stanford Gender Dysphoria Clinic, complained bitterly about my early gender atypical behavior, under the false impression that he would be attempting to “cure” me. I was but 17 years old at the time.

“I have known for years that he wanted to be a girl.  But I thought that was [morally] wrong.  He was very different than his brothers.  All their friends were boys.  His were always girls,” naming several of my friends over the years, starting with those when I was five and six years old, but couldn’t remember my friend who had been my only guest on my tenth birthday.  “Marian,” I interjected for the only time during the whole interview.  “He was always very prissy.  He would walk clear around even the shallowest puddles.  When he was little, I would put him in clean clothes on Monday and on Friday they would still be clean.”  She confirmed that I had been sent to a therapist about my behavior when I was ten years old and again when I was 15/16.

When I was nine years old, at the end of 4th grade, our elementary school was planning one of those embarrassing shows where students perform for their parents and friends. I’m sure you know the type I’m talking about. I was cast for a part but when told the details of the part, I had a total emotional melt-down, tears, loud drama, refusing to take a male role. It set off a chain of interviews and behind the scene discussions with my parents that I only learned about years later. The next school year, I was required, by the school district psychologist, to be sent to a very special therapist some miles from our home, to “play” and talk with Dr. Peters every Friday afternoon. Interesting thing about the playroom. It had only boy’s toys, which held zero interest for me. Sometimes, we played chess, but otherwise, we only talked. Why?

Please Read, “Shameful History of Reparative Therapy of Transsexual and Gay Children”

I’ve already disclosed a few details about how in Jr. High, I spent my time at the library reading about girl’s fashion, make-up, etc. I also practiced putting on make-up, borrowing my mother’s, given that we had the same coloring, etc. I was always careful to put everything back exactly as I found it and to wash my face carefully, but she knew I was doing it. She just couldn’t catch me at it.

One of the stories my mother would tell other mothers, often in my presence to try to embarrass me, was about the day she was sitting out on the lawn pulling weeds when she saw me at a distance walking home from school. When I saw her, I discretely adjusted the stack of books I was carrying (female style, books against my chest, if you must know), sadly not discretely enough. She would tell her listeners that she was convinced that I must be bringing home and attempting to hide, pornography, so she later searched my room. What she found instead was a book on manners and etiquette for teenagers, mostly for girls.

When I was fourteen, my freshman year in high school, Debra asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance. I loved dancing and she was one of my friends so I agreed. A couple weeks after the dance, she invited me over to her house. Her mother wasn’t home as I had expected her to be. Debra went into her bedroom and changed out of school clothes and into a very revealing, slinky dress. She literally draped herself across me as I sat on the front room couch. Disturbed, I pushed her off of me and jumped up off the couch. She tried to cajole me into rejoining her on the couch but I refused, as I paced the floor. She gave up and changed back into more modest jeans and top. The next day, as school ended, she again invited me over to her house, but I turned her down. Debra broke into tears and ran away. We never spoke again.

During the next summer, just after I turned 15, I took square dancing classes with one of my female friends. I paid special attention to the girl’s part, intending to attend square dances as a girl, and dance with the cute boys. My friend supported this plan and lent me one of her square dancing outfits. My mother discovered the plot and forbid me to attend any more lessons and forced the return of the outfit.

Another girl, who was in the square dancing crowd freaked out and cut me off when I came out to her. Thank goodness we didn’t go to the same school. But I hated losing friends.

We moved to a new house in a nearby suburb a couple months after that and I transferred to the local high school. I joined up with a crowd of kids that included a boy, Greg, I had known in Jr. High. He now lived with his mother and new stepdad, while his brother Jeff (Not my husband Jeff) lived with his dad and attended my old high school. Thus, my circle of friends doubled as I kept in touch and occasionally met with my old friends. One of those old friends, Dennis, would meet me half-way, at Cassie’s house. Dennis was very comfortable being affection with me, often letting me massage his back or just sitting close. One day, at Cassie’s, the two of them started making out hot and heavy right in front of me. The green eyed monster joined us and took over. I stormed out, slamming the door as hard as I could. For the next week, Dennis tried calling me several times a day. I just hung up on him as soon as I heard his voice. After a week, Cassie called. I wasn’t mad at her. She could make out with any boy she wanted as far as I was concerned. Cassie said to me, “You have punished him enough.”

So, with that we agreed that I would go to Cassie’s and talk to Dennis, to patch things up. But I had a plan. Cassie agreed to let me come early and borrow her clothes. She was two inches taller and a bit bigger, but her dress size was close enough to mine. I met Dennis wearing a cute blouse with a jumper dress over it, panty-hose and nice shoes. Dennis and I talked pleasantly, never once making any reference to how I was dressed. I was trying to let him see that I was attracted to him, etc. He didn’t reject me, but wasn’t going to be dating me either. Oh well… I tried. Skipping forward three years for just a moment. Dennis visited me right around graduation. During a walk around the block, away from other’s ears, he asked, “You going for that sex change?” I answered simply, “Yes.” Upon which he said, “Good luck.” and hugged me.

That same year, aged 15, my mother decided it was time she dealt with me and my “homosexuality”. She first took me to our family doctor for a physical and a consult about it. There didn’t seem to be anything physically wrong, save that I was “underdeveloped” (and stayed that way, thank the Blessed Goddess… At 15 I was perhaps at Tanner stage 3, I never reached stage 5). He recommended a therapist, Dr. Kanski, who I had to see once a week to “talk about my problem”. I would talk very pleasantly about almost any subject, but my sexual orientation and gender dysphoria / identity. Dr. Kanski later told my mother that I was “uncooperative”.

Around this time Jeff introduced me to his best friend Kevin. I had a huge crush on him for the rest of my time in high school. Jeff and Kevin occasionally came over to our house. My mother would notice that I got excited each time they did this, but thought it was Jeff that I had a crush on.

Later that year, as I was helping Cassie with her homework (I was often asked to help others and gladly did so), she reached under the table and grabbed my genitalia, saying in coquettish voice, “My mother won’t be home for hours.” I was horrified! I pulled her hand away from me and pretended nothing had happened. She started to slide her hand to my crotch again but I grabbed it and held it tight against her leg, while continuing to explain the homework problem. I was hurt and angry. She knew about my transsexuality. Why would she should do this?

The summer, just after I turned 17, I got a job as a full-time nanny taking care of two boys, ages ten, and four. Their mom later wrote a letter of introduction and recommendation using my new name and gender. The family also gave me some of her older, but stylishly appropriate for a teenager, clothes that would fit me.

Our house was next door to our community pool. We often had friends over for a swim, including Cassie and Barby, among others. One day, I picked up Barby from her house in our family’s spare car to go for a swim. She was wearing a skimpy bikini and nothing else. As we were going down the street, she grabbed my hand and pulled my hand to her crotch. (You just know that a straight boy would have loved it and also be having ‘trouble’ with his own.) I was never more grateful that I was driving a car with a manual transmission as I removed my hand back to the gear shift knob.

It was past time I came out to Barby.

My senior year I called our family doctor and asked for female hormones. His reply was, “You can do anything you want with your life, but I won’t be any part of it.” Soon after that I found a reference to the Stanford Gender Dysphoria Clinic. On the phone, they said I needed to have my parents make the appointments, etc. After some serious family drama, my Dad did. After the intake interviews with Dr. Fisk, I filled out their required paperwork at school, with friends looking over my shoulders, offering comments. Both of my parents tried to talk me out of transition.

Please Read “Cognitive Dissonance…”

A few months before graduation rolled around, I was out to all my close friends and word was getting around. Of course, the fact that I was often seen around town or at the mall with friends dressed as a girl helped that. But, I still had to present as a boy in class. I openly hung up my new wardrobe in my closet, earning silent glares of disapproval from my mother, but gave her a ‘I dare you’ look back. But after graduation, I was living full time as a girl.

At one point my father strongly suggested, “Have sex with a girl.  I’m sure that will change you.  What about one of your friends, Barby, or Cassie?  Wouldn’t they do it to help you?”  I replied angrily,  “I’m sure they would.  But that won’t change me and I DON’T want to have sex with them!”

I turned eighteen a week before graduation. My dad came over to wish me happy birthday and give me a present, the only one I got from anyone, a nice clock radio. I would need it as he also told me I was being evicted from my mother’s house and not allowed to move in with him.

I won’t go into details, that’s not anyone’s business; I dated several boys/young men from my circle of high school friends starting then and for the next few years. But one of my boyfriends, Jordan, from that time, later introduced me to his wife as his “first girlfriend”. Think about that, a straight man was proudly telling his wife that his first relationship was with a pre-op transwoman! Of the others, my mother had accused Jeff of being my lover. Wrong, he had rebuffed me… his brother Greg on the other hand… The one that really created family drama was Don, my brother’s best friend.

Barby complained, bitterly and unkindly, that I was “boy crazy”.

Bob at Jeff’s and my wedding in 1999

The relationship that lasted the longest was Bob. His mother was an engineer, president of the Silicon Valley chapter of the Society for Women Engineers. I was a welcome guest at their family dinners. She strongly encouraged me to study engineering. When he was away at Rensselaer, back east, we handwrote letters often and occasionally talked long distance on the phone. I learned from one of his housemates on the phone that when Bob was lonely, he would open the drawer where he kept my letters, just for the waft of my perfume I scented them with. When he was home… we dated on and off like that for several years. in the end though, he married my best friend Jan and raised two girls with her. But we remained friends. In fact, Bob attended my wedding to Jeff.

I remained friends with several female friends, most especially Jan and Robyne, occasionally sleeping over in their bedrooms. Think about that for a moment. Their families had known me for years…Robyne’s since Jr. High, do you think for one moment that they would let me be alone, in their teenaged daughter’s bedrooms over night, if they thought I might be interested or capable of having sex with them?

As to choice of careers. I love teaching and have been an instructor/tutor in several schools in several subjects, from teaching little kids swimming to teaching teens and adults flying. I started my career in Silicon Valley as a secretary / administrative assistant. I worked as an electronic assembler (a female coded job) and proceeded up the ranks of supervisor and management, all while earning a degree by examination after self-study. That’s not the career arc of a typical AGP.

So, remembering the definitions and indicia of sexual history & orientation, childhood gender atypicality (as reported by my mother), age of gender dysphoria onset, age of transition, etc. What type am I?

I have no doubt the AGPs in denial, haters, disappointed chasers, and TERF/GC folk will all still tell lies. But I know who and what I am.

Sex Reassignment Surgery Demographics in the Netherlands

Our favorite folks in Amsterdam have provided data set on MTF transsexuals receiving SRS in their clinic covering 40 years. The paper is openly available online, not behind a paywall, so you may read it for yourself. But I have a few observations and comments regarding the data and the authors’ comments.

First, let’s look at the data, reorganized into putatively HSTS vs. AGP. (Yes, given all we know about MTF transwomen, I will assume that all non-exclusively androphilic transwomen are AGP.)

Table 1

Demographics of transgender women undergoing primary genital gender-affirming surgery at the authors’ institution between January 1980 and January 2020

Demographics	Total	Vaginoplasty	Orchiectomy	GCV
Number	n=1531	n=1468	n=44	n=19
Age at surgery (SD=1)	33 (25–44)	33 (24–44)	32 (26–45)	54 (45–60)
Sexual orientation (self report) n=	699	645	42	12
HSTS n= (%)	372 (53)	357 (55)	13 (31)	2 (17)

As the authors noted, “Individuals who opted for GCV (vulvaplasty only, no vaginoplasty) were generally older, had no history of puberty suppression, and were more frequently sexually oriented towards women.” The same could be said for orchiectomy as well. HSTS are must more likely to want/need vaginoplasty over other possible choices as one would expect, so as to be able to have vaginal intercourse with men.

The authors made a comment that I found ahistorical. They believe that GCV is a relatively new procedure. It is not. In fact, Christine Jorgensen had GCV only in 1952, as reported by her surgeon, Dr. Christian Hamburger, as neither of them desired to facilitate sex with men. Similarly, “orchies”, as we called them back in the 1970s, was common for both HSTS and AGP in the early 20th through the mid- to late-20th Century due to greater ease of obtaining them. (Some of this was due to the Eugenics Movement, which was only too happy to sterilize “perverts”.)

Finally, the authors wrote about encouraging “fertility preservation” but seem to lament that it isn’t possible for those who begin puberty blockers early, “The increase in individuals starting puberty suppression at early pubertal stages, when serum testosterone concentrations are insufficient for spermatogenesis, may lead to an increase in individuals without options for preservation of fertility.” This strikes me as “unclear on the the concept” as why would such MTF early transitioners, who are all HSTS (as even this clinic’s own data attests), want or need to cryostore sperm. Just who will they impregnate, their future husbands?

Reference:

Van der Sluis, et al., “Surgical and demographic trends in genital gender-affirming surgery in transgender women: 40 years of experience in Amsterdam”, British Journal of Surgery, Volume 109, Issue 1, January 2022, Pages 8–11, https://doi.org/10.1093/bjs/znab213